Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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