i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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