We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
