Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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