Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize