So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
