in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
