I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
