I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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