never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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