i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
