Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
