I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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