either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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