I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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