If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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