Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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