If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
