i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
