But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
