i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
