I puked a lego.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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