I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
