Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
