Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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