I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
