Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
