ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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