it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize