He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize