Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
