Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
