You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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