And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
