Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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