Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
