On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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