You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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