the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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