...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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