They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize