Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
