operation harelip BJ is a go
is wine microwaveable?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
