8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
