I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
