I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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