She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
