so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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