problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
