i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
two words...techno handjob
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
