if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
