You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
