with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
