this beer tastes like vomit already
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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