Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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