My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
