I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I love you.
Bad choice
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
