See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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