So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
