I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
