Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
