can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
