She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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