I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
