I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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