Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize