he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
