i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
